I just want to get serious for a moment, so brace yourself. I think I’m pretty funny, I think I’m so funny in fact that a guy agreeing with this is one of my non-negotiables for dating (you’d think the fact I’m still single would have me reconsidering this, but it doesn’t). Originally I wasn’t sure what to post about today, one week off and suddenly I forget how to blog, but then I remembered this gem of a conversation from the weekend (I’d do the screen shot thing but I am the worst phone user ever), which I will recreate for you here (you’re welcome). I should preface it by saying that whatsapp is my new best friend because I can send silly photos to friends for free.
Hannah: Did you make it home safely? (because unlike me Hannah is actually a kind and caring human being, I’m not sure why she continues to be my friend)
Hannah: Haha, how do I know you got home safely though? You could have been kidnapped?
Me: I was, by some bearded weirdo!
Hannah: At least they’re good looking.
Me: I fear this may be why I’m still single
Hannah: Most likely.
So there we have it folks, why I’m still single. Well that and being caught looking like a homeless person whilst working in the library by some very good looking guys!
And whilst typing out that I remembered something pretty BIG I needed to tell you guys!
Whilst I was at a wedding last weekend some of my friends met up at emma’s, the fact that it occurred the same weekend I had to be at a wedding didn’t seem suspicious. Well, didn’t seem suspicious until I got a message from them declaring they had found the perfect guy for me. So far so good, every now and then they get it into their heads that they need to give my love-life a helping hand. And I was actually touched that this time they decided to pay attention to my other dating rule (some would argue the more important one) that the guy be a practicing Christian. What was new however, is that they went ahead and signed me up for my single friend, where friends describe other single friends. MSF being a responsible dating website does ask for permission from the friend in question and gets them to fill out segments of the profile. Normal people would stop there. But not my friends, to get around this they create a whole new email address for me (forgetting that they in fact know most of my email accounts and passwords) and then do their best to fake being me when filling out the profile.
However, I am poor and so can’t afford the membership fees (which allows you to actually message people), so being the FANTASTIC friends they are, they are holding my account details hostage. So I have no idea what they wrote, when pressed they answered BIG BOOBs which for all I know could be true.
The upshot, I’m still single and I think I may be staying this way for a while, you’re welcome world!