Tuesday, 4 February 2014

I need hazard pay!

Soooooo Shannon asked some questions that really deserve an answer, but they are going to wait for another day, I have something far more important...... why I need hazard pay! No really. Because we only have a limited amount of time I will recount all the things that happened Monday that demonstrate why I need it:

·         Getting into the bath for the morning shower, the foot inside the bath slipped causing me to whack the knee of the leg on the floor into the side of the bath. I’ve just checked, I have a whopping great big bruise.

·         I heated up my soup for lunch, but spilled it all over the floor, the work, top and my boots. And all this happened before I even attempted to pour it into my thermos.

·         We are knocking on doors. My knuckles are killing me!

·         We are constantly trying to enter blocks of flats, which means pressing the buzzer and hoping some kind soul takes pity on us and lets us in, usually this involves explaining who we are, and why we’re there. Occasionally though someone will let us in without waiting for us to explain. Often, I will be leaning against the door when this happens, and invariably when it gives way I fall flat on my backside!

·         Conversely sometimes they are so stiff that the only way to gain entry is to throw yourself at the door using your body weight as a battering ram.

·         I have an un-canny ability to trip over thin air. With all this walking around the city the frequency of this happening seems to have increased!

·         I yelp when I trip or fall. I do this so often going up and down all the flights of stairs that my colleagues have stopped checking if I’m OK. If I do seriously hurt myself it will be a while before they come to find me.

·         Linked to the above is when steps give way on me. Some of the buildings in are oooooooooold. Some are old with the original fixtures, including the carpets on the stairs. Occasionally (usually on the way down) carpets will move with you as you walk, this has the propensity to send me flying.

·         Spiral staircases...... seriously how do people navigate these without one foot constantly slipping off the narrow end of the step!!!

·         Doors. Again. I can’t even tell you the number of times I have been attacked by a door trying to leave a building. Some of them are so stiff you have to jerk them open, others have such a complicated lever/lock combo that a finger invariabley gets trapped between 2 of the mechanisms.

·         The cold. And the wet. It’s wreaking havoc with my skin and I’m going through hand lotion at a rate I previously would have sworn to be humanly impossible!

So that’s it.

Do you think I deserve hazard pay too? Granted I’m not sure whether the hazard pay should be for work or just for getting through life as me?


1 comment:

  1. This entry made me giggle. Those damn ninja doors attacking you! For shame!