I decided it was about time that I graced this inferior blog with my presence so the puny human is being my scribe today.
Before we move on I feel we should discuss the puny human, always a pathetic example of your species, it has been exceptionally so lately. Some palaver over being permanently homeless and something about a (presumably) pathetic example of the male of your species, to be honest I wasn’t really listening, the power ballads and the weeping were mildly amusing (eds note: this is a complete exaggeration there have been no power ballads). And you know how this silly little blog is supposed to be about weight loss, well for the last 2 weeks it has been anything but in these here parts. So I have been very helpfully singing “who ate all the pies” every time I see her, I don’t think she appreciates it as the motivational tool it is. Anyway all this talk of the puny human is terribly dull.
I have been having many adventures.
I very much enjoyed the view from our balcony.
When we were in Aberdeen I made some friends, with some judgemental china cats we discovered in the hallway of some flats, we mocked the general patheticness of humans, most enjoyable.
I also had a fun time visiting the lowalnds:
I met "Nessie", but this fiend in an imposter, I have met the real Nessie and She is far superior to this:
And have been graciously posing for pictures all over the country. The pathetic human complains and fails to appreciate the glorious gift I am bestowing on her (eds note: there were other people around in these places and I was having to contort myself into very strange shapes to get the photo, so any crankiness was entirely justified).
The puny human says she has other things to do, and that I must sign off, I will punish her severely for this insubordination, but in the mean time I will concede this battle.
Signing off your benevolent and magnificent ruler
His Royal Highness Reginald
(I decided I was befitting of a Royal title)